This was such a departure for you. The contrast between the comedic and the serious is very telling. This was real…keep it up. Let’s see more of this dramatic side.

We all knew this moment had to come. Three’s Company didn’t take on a fourth roommate to make rent cheaper and COUPLE’S Therapy can’t be changing their name to “Emotionally Abusive Parents Therapy.” I just don’t think we all thought it would happen so soon– especially me. In fact, I thought I might be able to make it back up to Seattle in time for the climactic episode. So I present, the never to be seen baby climax episode of Couples Therapy:

INT. APARTMENT — DAY
KRIS and LINDY are scrapbooking “Baby’s First Family Album” at the kitchen table.

KRIS: So…why are we making this…BEFORE the baby comes?
LINDY: Do you expect to have a lot of free time for family scrapbooking when the baby IS here?
KRIS: No, I just–
LINDY: I thought you liked scrapbooking!
KRIS: I do! You know me, I’m a scrapbooking fiend, it’s just–
LINDY: It’s just what?
KRIS: Well, I dunno, it’s like seeing the bride before the wedding!
LINDY: Kris, you made me put on your tie moments before the ceremony.
KRIS: I couldn’t figure it out!
LINDY: Kris, it was a clip on!
KRIS: Well– yeah– exactly! It’s like expecting a button fly and getting a zipper! Over-preparation anxiety.
LINDY: I–
KRIS: No sex jokes!
LINDY: I wasn’t–!
KRIS: No sex jokes.
LINDY: Fine. But it’s not unlucky, it’s pragmatic. And besides, I’m nervous enough as it is without you spouting superstitious–

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. Kris and Lindy freeze and look at each other. Kris gets up and slowly answers the door to reveal JON.

JON: WHAT’S UP MAN!
KRIS: (taken slightly aback, but relieved) Jon! (cool handshake ensues) What are you doing here? We haven’t talked to you in months…
JON: Oh, you know me, I–
KRIS: You’re unemployed again aren’t you?
JON: I like to refer to it as Walkabout 4.
LINDY: Not a “sabbatical?”
JON: That too! How are you guys?? You look great!
KRIS: Thanks!
LINDY: You know it!
JON: No, I mean, like really good! I heard you lost some weight, but the photos don’t do you justice, I mean wow!
KRIS: They say the camera adds ten pounds…so a digital probably adds like…three…
JON: Tell me about it. And Lindy, look at you! I’m astounded!
LINDY: Ok, ok…
JON: No, I mean, I am floored, look at your muscles!
LINDY: Alllright, this is starting to feel condescending…
JON: No, I swear, you look FIT! I mean like, FIT!
KRIS: (awkward laugh) Well…
JON: I mean not just fit, but strong. You must have incredible abs right now. I mean look at that stomach! You look like you could take a punch, am I right? Tighten your abs!
KRIS and LINDY: WAIT!

Slow motion: Jon winds up with a big, puppy dog smile on his face. Close ups of big eyes from Lindy and Kris.

THUMP!

Silent screams. Lindy kneels, doubled over. Kris rushes to her side. Resume normal speed.

JON: Ah, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I thought you were ready for it– let me help you up…

Kris and Lindy stare up at Jon who starts to sense something is wrong.

JON: What’s going on?

CUT TO BLACK

CREDITS

I like LIndy and Kris’s version better…no offense Witz…it’s just that, well…that’s just fucked up! Hahaha!

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